Unlike any other year in which I've completed all 9 mases, this year, my first Sinulog novena mass was of Day 4 Sunday (yesterday). I was surprised that it was still a struggle. I’ve tried so hard to be there and treat it like any other Sunday mass. Yet I feel like Sto. Niño and I have a connection. This song, during communion, made me cry. It was so touching. I had to hold back my tears. Good thing it was raining, though, and I had my hoodie on. I could hide them.

I wish I could sing it from the heart. I wish my baby Nate is still with me and that he was healed. I’ve never prayed so hard before in my entire life. The only time and I wasn’t heard... or maybe I was but on a different context. I don't know... I wish it wasn't all so difficult to understand.