Happily ever after.... 6 years?
We celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary yesterday. How fast time flew! We celebrated with dinner at a fancy restaurant of Marco Polo's Cafe Marco at Nivel Hills, Lahug.
Let me give you a little background of me. I come from a very conservative Catholic family. It is not an acceptable practice to live together before marriage. We believe, however, in long engagements but even that is not compulsory. In my case, my boyfriend (now husband) proposed after 6 months of dating. I got married after another 6 months. In summary, we only dated for a total of a year (?!?!). Yeah, that must have sounded really fast. Some say, you never know what you've gotten yourself into until you are already there. I 100% agree to that. To top it, I married at a very young age of 23.
The first few years of marriage was really tough. Imagine suddenly living for the first time with a stranger coming from different background, upbringing, having different values, priorities, and mannerism. It drove me crazy! I get upset of little things like how the toothpaste wasn't squeezed from the bottom of the tube, how the toilet seat was never placed back down after every use, how bedroom slippers were not worn inside the room, how I can't sleep because of the constant snoring at night, how I hated not driving my own car, how I needed to ask permission every time I go out or for every huge expenditure. The list just went on and on. I guess I was too independent. My mom had taught us not to depend on a man. We earn our own living, buy our own jewelry/ clothes, and drive our own car. The first few years were filled with fights as we adjust to each other's ways. I am glad those first few years were over.
Although not perfect, my husband is a better catch. With my unpredictable mood swings, he loved and still loves me more than I feel I deserve.
Over the past 6 years, my husband and I have been through hell (excuse my term... it certainly is an exaggeration). The worst that happened was loosing our only son in the war of congenital heart defect. How could a marriage stand the loss of a child? To be honest, I did not think we would. I lost myself too. I can see he was as broken as I was but he rooted himself to the basic unit of the family - us. Quoting what he said, "I am a husband first before a father… similarly, you are a wife first before a mother. We should remain to protect the foundation." I agreed. I never thought of it that way. I remember I asked him once. I asked how he did it that he remained faithful and never for once thought nor threatened to bail out. His answer? He said he never focused on what he gets from the marriage. Instead of focusing at my flaws and what he thinks he deserves, he focused on being the best partner for me offering only the best of himself. He thought of serving and giving rather that getting. Wow! ... the most unselfish man I know.
Children may come or not. I don't even know if I'd ever be ready to try again. I am, however, very happy I did what I did 6 years ago. I said, "I do". Every year he proved to be the better man. I pray I will continue to be the better woman for him too.
"If you don't respect the other person, if you don't know how to compromise, if you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, and if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. The biggest value? The belief in the importance of your marriage".
Happy 6th year, booboo! I am truly blessed to have you. 6 years gone, forever more to go! ^_^